sad movies and painting my nails.

So pretty much everyone that I know that has ever watched "Dear John" has hated it.

I LOVE IT.

I thought that it was absolutely beautiful, and romantic, and completely tragic.

I cried seven times during the whole thing.

not like "sniff sniff" crying, like SOBBING crying, to the point that Troy came into my room completely terrified that I was dying or something.

It is STILL saddening me, and I watched it six hours ago.

There is a lot of all caps in this blog post of mine.

YAY FOR ALL CAPS WOO!

hmmmdeedhmmm.

thats all I've got I think.

I think that I will paint my nails this color tomorrow.

Also I am cutting my hair a bit so it won't be a scraggly and gross looking.

insecurities.

I hate looking at myself and not liking what I see.
Every day there is something wrong with my body.
Something Different.
I find myself consumed with thoughts about what I could do to be skinnier.
I'm scared to eat.
I do eat though. But I feel so disgusting afterwards, that I never want to eat ever again.
But I do.
Everyone I see is skinnier.
I wish my stomach was flatter.
I wish my legs were smaller.
I look in the mirror and I see nothing that I like.

secret.

So I have decided that I'm going to keep this particular blog a secret, and make it like a journal or something.
I have been really bad a personal blogging lateley, well pretty much the whole summer.
I kept a pretty consistent blog about my life and everything sophomore through senior year. I'm really glad that I did that, but it was filled with a bunch of stuff that doesn't really apply to my life anymore so I desided to create a new blog. And here it is.
Yesterday Tyler and I celebrated our five monthaversary together. I can not believe that I have been with the love of my life for five whole months.
I never thought that I would ever meet a guy and instantly know that this is the man that I'm going to marry someday. But after I met Tyler, I just KNEW. And it was the most incredible feeling ever.
I love him so much, and he loves me so much, and that is how it is going to stay forever.
Tyler is the best in the entire world.
He is my best friend. I LOVE HIM! I just can't say it enough how much I truly truly love him.
I can't wait to marry him. At this point we're looking at two years before we can officially tie the knot, and two years has never seemed so long. I want to marry this man, and love him, and fall asleep in his arms, and wake up in the morning and see his lovely face, and just be with him always. I want to have kids and watch them grow up and know that they are a little bit of him and a little bit of me. I wonder about them a little bit everyday, and its just so weird to know that in five years I could have a kid. I could be a mom. Its absolutely crazy, but the best kind of crazy. There is nothing that I want more.
I wish that my friends would have stayed with me through this. Brianna is the only one that is always there for me, and I love her so much for that. She has saved my life!
I really don't know what I did to my friends. It's like I finally got a boyfriend, and they all ditched me.
I think that they expected me to change but I didn't. And what really really hurts, is that they always tell me that they want to hang out and then they never invite me to stuff. and when I try to get with them they're busy.
It doesn't make sense.
oh well.

quiet.

I'm sitting in a quiet study room right now.

It is not the most thrilling place in the world.

The lady sitting next to me is spitting sunflower seeds into a plastic bottle.

ICK.

The bottle is almost full.

ICK ICK. where's your pride??

hmmmm.

I start working today here at OTC, and I'm kinda excited.

The hours really stink though.

3:30 to 8:30

funfun.

well I don't have anything to say really, and no pictures.

bye

mybrainhurts.

from studying so long for my principles of business test.

I really love college so far, but I hate the no study guide before a test thing.

It seems as if I'm cramming in every possible piece of information into my brain.

anyways, here is some cute stuff via weheart it as usual :)

I just love this song :) It reminds me of my wonderful boyfriend Tyler every time I hear it.

I love this quote because sometimes I find myself gossiping, and I know that its wrong, but I do it anyway. I don't want to have a small mind, so I try to keep this in my head whenever I start to "discuss people"

I just think that this sunshine is the cutest thing. It is the background on my laptop right now, and I think that it is perfect for fall!

Speaking of fall, I am so so so glad that it has finally decided to get here, because it has been one HOT summer in Springfield Missouri. That is for sure!

Well I guess I'm going to go study some more, and I think that I'll sew something before I go to bed.

My fingers and brain need something more stimulating than just reading and writing down vocab words!

hello september.

I love fall sooooo much!

So lately I've been feeling really unmotivated to anything, which really annoys me.

I need to do my homework.

I need to attempt to be creative.

Maybe this new crisp fall weather will put me out of my summer heat spell.

I'll be trying :)

My mom found this vintage pillow case the other day and gave it to me, so I think making that into something cute will be my first project.

okay.

I'm now going to work on my four papers, and one speech.

wa hoo!

drip drop.

I lovee the rain.

It's been so long since we have had a good one, and I think that it is absolutely lovely.

all of this wonderful rain in making me want a pair of rain boots realllly bad.

How cool are these? Answer: the coolest of the cool.

classic yellow is always adorable.

and how cool is that wall?

I'm in love. <3