emotions often overwhelm me.

So I read a lot of blogs, and it seems like everyone these days is pregnant.
Someday I want a baby.
I want one soooooo bad it is not even funny.
Not now, but some day when I am married and me and my husband decide that we are financially stable, and fully prepared to bring a life into this world.
I haven't listened to Regina Spektor lately, but today she came up on my iPod with her song "On The Radio" and there was one line that really stood out to me.
It goes like this...
"and you take that love you made, and stick it into some, someone else's heart, pumping someone else's blood"
Thats what a baby is. It is a product of love. Everything that is in that baby, is the love between you and your husband.
I think that is absolutely incredible.
Someday I'm going to be a mom to a precious, wonderful, baby that is a result of the love between me and it's daddy.
wow.
all of this completely overwhelms me.

sidenote: NO i am not pregnant. AT ALL. If I was pregnant, I assure you that it would be a complete miracle, and I was giving a virgin birth to jesus' brother or sister.

getting lost,love,and yumminess.

so last night after church, the college group went to Orange Leaf.
sidenote: orange leaf has the BEST froyo in the world! Cake Batter, Strawberry, and Coffee Lover, are to die for. but not mixed. that=ew!
I had never driven to Orange Leaf before so I was quite clueless on how to get there, so I asked directions from a friend. I assured her multiple times that I knew what I was doing and that I would get myself and Tyler there safe and sound.
I suck at directions apparently.
because Tyler and myself found ourselves on the way to Branson.

Here is the story...
So we were supposed to take Glenstone to Republic Road. However instead of winding up on Republic Road, we ended up on the ramp shooting us out on to I-60!
I HATE HATE HATE highways. So I start freaking out and I couldn't breathe, so Tyler told me to pull over and he would drive. He is so kind. Seriously. I love him.
ANYWAYS. so it's super dark out and neither one of us know where in the heck we are,becaus e we are on like the waaaaaayyyyyy south side now, and I am a northsider, and he is a Willard person, so there ya go.
Somehow we end up on highway 65 taking us to Branson. About this time I am sobbing and hicupping uncontrollably and wailing about how I am the most terrible girlfriend in the entire world and Tyler is cool as a cucumber and has me call his mom, who I sob and wail to as well, and she directed us back and we ended up at Orange Leaf safe and sound.
good story right?
last night I hated this whole event, but I'm already laughing about it, and it will be a good story to tell the kiddos one day :)
After all of this happening, I loved Tyler even more than I already did which is a whole stinkin lot! It's so amazing how perfectly matched we are for each other.
I never thought that I would meet a guy that would willingly put up with my outrageous dramatics, extreme emotions, and complete craziness.
But Tyler does. and he does it because he loves me.
knowing that he loves me is the best feeling in the whole entire world. This time last year, I didn't even believe in love really. I thought that guys were all jerks, and that no one could ever love me for who I am.
It's so funny how God proved me so wrong. I should be used to that though, he does every time :)

interupting sloth, a fine frenzy, and cold

yesterday was a great day!
I had to work from 8:30-2:30 which I though was going to be a complete pain in the butt. However, I was working with my old friend Corey, so it turned out to be a very pleasant six hours of looking up funny youtube videos, facebooking, recapping Jonas L.A. and becoming a spider sollitaire master.
then I came home and made myself some ramen noodles. I LOVE ramen. It's not just the whole "oh boo hoo I'm in college and poor so I'm going to sob over these nasty noodles" thing obviously, because I live with my parents. It's because I LOVE them. notice the all caps. That means it's serious business.
After I got done eating those delightful things, Tyler came over and hung out and it was a fun time, as it always is whenever I am with him! hurray.
so I told him this joke that goes like this...
"knock knock"
"whos there"
"interupting sloth who?"
(at this point, I just pointed my finger at him and moved it very slowly because sloths a very slow and I don't even think that they make noise. however Tyler insists that they make a waaaaaaaaaaaaaa sound. or something, I do not know!)
anyways, so apparently Tyler finds this joke absolutely hillarious because every time I would do it, he literally collapsed into a fit of giggles. It is so adorable.

I like pictures that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside :)

now it's sunday, and this morning I went to church like normal, which is always good to do :)
then I came home, and I've done some homework and now I'm listening to my Fine Frenzy playlist on pandora and trying to make a collage, though obviously I got distracted ;)

OH! so I was looking for some cute pictures on We Heart It this afternoon, and I got a dreadful pop up. So I know that I'm probably waaaaayyyy behind on this, and it is old news to everyone but myself, but apparently Miley Cyrus gave a lap dance to the FORTY FOUR year old producer of the last song at the wrap party! this made me quite sad, because secretly, I like Miley Cyrus, as forementioned in a recent post. So naturally I youtubed her, and I watched a video that she had posted from her channel where she said all these stupid rumors weren't true, and she looked so unskanky, that I couldn't believe that I had really just seen a video of her giving this old guy a lap dance.
ugh. I am torn

See?? She goes from completely adorable to trashy.
ugh I miss the good ole days of hannah montana.

Its starting to get cold outside! This makes me happy :)

chinese food, coca cola, and robin hood.

school was okay today I suppose.
english= reading a story and being dismissed after twenty minutes. which was niiice.
computer apps= doing a step by step easy peasy in class assignment.
pls= completely bombing a pop quiz, and talking about the new law in missouri against strippers.
speech= I'm not really sure.I started doodling and daydreaming, and hardly listened a bit. shame. on.me.

Lunch was great through! My wonderful wonderful boyfriend Tyler, (geeez I could not be more cheesy) rescued me from spending three hours by my lonesome, and took me out to lunch. and the sweetest part is, that I got me my favoritest food in the world, which is chinese food. and he HATES chinese food. this also made me feel very guilty, but then he stopped and got himself a chicken sandwich so I didn't feel guilty anymore :)

then I went to work, which was okay. I had a huge headache so that sucked though. I don't know what is up with my headaches lately, but hopefully they will decide to stop making appearances! However, it did give me an excuse to stop by sonic and get a coke :)

then I went to Tylers house, and I played with his adorable dog chloe while he gave a guitar lesson, and then we watched Robin Hood. It was a lovely evening.

oh yes, if you say coca cola over and over again it is super fun! ...well at least to me...

ladeedah.

Today when I got home I watched the newest episode of Hannah Montana Forever.

I don't care how big of a skank Miley Cyrus is, I think she is hillarious and I LOVE that show.

After that I cooked some chicken nuggets, and ate an apple ever though I really really wanted fries, because we are learning about nutrition in Lifetime Wellness, and my appetite has flown the coop.

While I was eating I surfed around a bit on Netflix and found this random A&E Indie Movie called American Teen. I enjoyed it kinda, and it was suprisingly realistic.

then I had a headache and I took a nap.

funfun.

Now I really want to go to a flea market to find bags of vintage scrap fabric for a new project that I am working on, but I'm not feeling motivated enough, so I'm just going to sit here instead.

I am so lame.

healthtest, haircut, and pancakes

I guess that today was a fairly decent day. I had a health test to start it off, but I had studied super hard for it, so I was ready, and I think I did okay :)
There is this kid in my health class that seriously drives me insane.
My class starts at 8:30 and I usually get there at eight, which gives me some time to work on other homework, or review the chapter that we are going to be learning that day.
Anyways, so this kid is always sitting in the room when I get there, and EVERY SINGLE morning without fail, he is sitting in his seat with his laptop playing those super annoying cartoon network cartoons, at full volume, with no headphones.
It is absolutely rediculous.
Firstly: I just hate cartoons. I always have. When I was little, I refused to watch the cartoon tv shows, I would only watch shows with "real people in real life" this real people real life policy was taken out of effect however, when it came to Disney animated movies. I loved those guys. I still do. I watched Pochahontas for about the 30th time yesterday afternoon.
Secondly: He will laugh out loud while he is watching them. Not like, chuckle softly to himself, but seriously cackle like an evil villian type laugh, and then look around at us, like we all should be laughing too. It is rediculous.
And today it was just super annoying to me, because I was trying to go through my flash cards.
After those fun times, I trekked on over to Principles of Business, and we had a jolly time doing SWOT analysis on Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I loovvee that class. I know it sounds so boring, but my teacher is super awesome and fun, and makes learning business law feel as exciting as Jonas Brothers Concert, and the kids in my class are really cool too :) plus my business group got a perfect score on our cover letter. Yay Natural Exterior! Putting Nature Back In Nature.
After my school day was over, I walked to Drury to have lunch with some of my friends from the Olden days of Hillcrest and I had a chicken quesadilla and I vanilla ice cream cone! I love love love vanilla ice cream. I feel like such a plain jane saying that vanilla is my favorite, but I just love it so much!
Then I went back to OTC to go to work, which consisted of me loosing five games of bubble shooter, and escorting some frenzied C BASE testers to their seats in the testing lab. such fun.
Then I came home, and my mom was making pancakes for dinner, which I love very much! mmmm mmmm good :)
Now here I am lying on my bed and typing this, and I think that I will make a flower headband or something because my fingers are itching for something to do.
woooo!

oh yes, I love my haircut. Its kinda shorterish, but it feels so healthy and shiny and bouncy! :)

sad movies and painting my nails.

So pretty much everyone that I know that has ever watched "Dear John" has hated it.

I LOVE IT.

I thought that it was absolutely beautiful, and romantic, and completely tragic.

I cried seven times during the whole thing.

not like "sniff sniff" crying, like SOBBING crying, to the point that Troy came into my room completely terrified that I was dying or something.

It is STILL saddening me, and I watched it six hours ago.

There is a lot of all caps in this blog post of mine.

YAY FOR ALL CAPS WOO!

hmmmdeedhmmm.

thats all I've got I think.

I think that I will paint my nails this color tomorrow.

Also I am cutting my hair a bit so it won't be a scraggly and gross looking.

insecurities.

I hate looking at myself and not liking what I see.
Every day there is something wrong with my body.
Something Different.
I find myself consumed with thoughts about what I could do to be skinnier.
I'm scared to eat.
I do eat though. But I feel so disgusting afterwards, that I never want to eat ever again.
But I do.
Everyone I see is skinnier.
I wish my stomach was flatter.
I wish my legs were smaller.
I look in the mirror and I see nothing that I like.

secret.

So I have decided that I'm going to keep this particular blog a secret, and make it like a journal or something.
I have been really bad a personal blogging lateley, well pretty much the whole summer.
I kept a pretty consistent blog about my life and everything sophomore through senior year. I'm really glad that I did that, but it was filled with a bunch of stuff that doesn't really apply to my life anymore so I desided to create a new blog. And here it is.
Yesterday Tyler and I celebrated our five monthaversary together. I can not believe that I have been with the love of my life for five whole months.
I never thought that I would ever meet a guy and instantly know that this is the man that I'm going to marry someday. But after I met Tyler, I just KNEW. And it was the most incredible feeling ever.
I love him so much, and he loves me so much, and that is how it is going to stay forever.
Tyler is the best in the entire world.
He is my best friend. I LOVE HIM! I just can't say it enough how much I truly truly love him.
I can't wait to marry him. At this point we're looking at two years before we can officially tie the knot, and two years has never seemed so long. I want to marry this man, and love him, and fall asleep in his arms, and wake up in the morning and see his lovely face, and just be with him always. I want to have kids and watch them grow up and know that they are a little bit of him and a little bit of me. I wonder about them a little bit everyday, and its just so weird to know that in five years I could have a kid. I could be a mom. Its absolutely crazy, but the best kind of crazy. There is nothing that I want more.
I wish that my friends would have stayed with me through this. Brianna is the only one that is always there for me, and I love her so much for that. She has saved my life!
I really don't know what I did to my friends. It's like I finally got a boyfriend, and they all ditched me.
I think that they expected me to change but I didn't. And what really really hurts, is that they always tell me that they want to hang out and then they never invite me to stuff. and when I try to get with them they're busy.
It doesn't make sense.
oh well.

quiet.

I'm sitting in a quiet study room right now.

It is not the most thrilling place in the world.

The lady sitting next to me is spitting sunflower seeds into a plastic bottle.

ICK.

The bottle is almost full.

ICK ICK. where's your pride??

hmmmm.

I start working today here at OTC, and I'm kinda excited.

The hours really stink though.

3:30 to 8:30

funfun.

well I don't have anything to say really, and no pictures.

bye

mybrainhurts.

from studying so long for my principles of business test.

I really love college so far, but I hate the no study guide before a test thing.

It seems as if I'm cramming in every possible piece of information into my brain.

anyways, here is some cute stuff via weheart it as usual :)

I just love this song :) It reminds me of my wonderful boyfriend Tyler every time I hear it.

I love this quote because sometimes I find myself gossiping, and I know that its wrong, but I do it anyway. I don't want to have a small mind, so I try to keep this in my head whenever I start to "discuss people"

I just think that this sunshine is the cutest thing. It is the background on my laptop right now, and I think that it is perfect for fall!

Speaking of fall, I am so so so glad that it has finally decided to get here, because it has been one HOT summer in Springfield Missouri. That is for sure!

Well I guess I'm going to go study some more, and I think that I'll sew something before I go to bed.

My fingers and brain need something more stimulating than just reading and writing down vocab words!

hello september.

I love fall sooooo much!

So lately I've been feeling really unmotivated to anything, which really annoys me.

I need to do my homework.

I need to attempt to be creative.

Maybe this new crisp fall weather will put me out of my summer heat spell.

I'll be trying :)

My mom found this vintage pillow case the other day and gave it to me, so I think making that into something cute will be my first project.

okay.

I'm now going to work on my four papers, and one speech.

wa hoo!

drip drop.

I lovee the rain.

It's been so long since we have had a good one, and I think that it is absolutely lovely.

all of this wonderful rain in making me want a pair of rain boots realllly bad.

How cool are these? Answer: the coolest of the cool.

classic yellow is always adorable.

and how cool is that wall?

I'm in love. <3