this really hurts.
thats all I have to say.

:(

:( :( :(

I feel as if I have done something terribly wrong.
I've attempted to apologize, but I don't get any response. I've sent a kajillion texts and I don't know if they are ignored or just not going through.
I'm so confused.
I wish you would just talk to me.
I don't want to lose my best friend, and not even know why.



the big ole future.

Whenever Tyler and I talk about getting married,we always come up on the subject of where we want to live. Ulitmately, where we live depends on where his music ministry takes him, and I've told him a million times that even if God plants us in the middle of the Alaskan tundra, I will be perfectly happy. 
Anyways, Tyler usually says that he wants to live in California someday. At first, this thought made me a little sad because I've lived here in good old Missouri ever since forever. But I've been thinking lately about how gosh darn awesome it would be to live in Cali.
There is a university there in MALIBU, that Tyler has thought about going to before after he does his stuff at Evangel here in Springfield.
Thinking about living in a place so beautiful, and Tyler fulfilling all his dreams there too makes me so incredibly happy to think about.
I can't begin to imagine the greatness of waking up every morning next to Tyler, hearing the ocean waves, and just knowing that we have a brand new place to build our lives, and a future together.
Our kids could grow up surfing with weekend trips to Disney Land.
it really just sounds too good to be true.
Like I said before, when I think of leaving Springfield it makes me sad inside. This place is all I've ever known, and leaving it would be both scary and hard for me. But then I think about how I would be going on this huge new adventure with the man that I love.

Sorry, this post was a bunch of rambling and it probably didn't make much sense. As many things that I say don't haha. I just had to get my thoughts out there.

a moment of silence please...

I come to you today delivering news of great sorrow and tribulation.
As we all know, the Borders Express in the mall shut down around christmas time. This was quite tragic for me, because even though I had to trek out to the south side to get there, it was small and non-overwhelming and had the best bargain book rack.
I survived however, due to the fact that there was a big Borders store just down the street and even though it was huge and slightly over-whelming, it had a nice calm atmosphere and I like the interior and smell better than Barnes&Noble.
However, after watching the news last night, I hear the abosolute tragic announcement the Borders has declared bankruptcy and is shutting its doors. After howling for hours, and running around the neighborhood in alluminum foil, I have come to a grand conclusion.
I, Karasyn Lindsey, am going to buy an eReader. Just saying that, makes me shiver and feel slightly guilty.
With my purchase of my own personal handheld electronic heaven *ahem* library *ahem* would I be contributing to the possible depletion of books from our society?
I tried to make a list of Pros and Cons, as I usually would do in this sort of conflicting situation, but the pros outweighed the cons to heavily that writing it was almost a waste of time.
The eReader that I have in mind, is the Barnes&Noble Nook, though I can't decide if I want the basic Nook, or the Nook Color.

I think, in the end I will just go with the basic Nook. It's around $100 cheaper and the only huge difference is that the whole screen isn't in color, just the menu bar.

Hmmm...in other news, I've had a very strange craving lately for cold grilled chicken, cheese cubes, and pepperidge farm party crackers. And this morning I went to the cafeteria wanting nothing more than a cappucino, but once I got there the only thing that sounded good was Sunny D. So thats what I'm drinking now...aren't you glad that you know that??? hahaha just kidding :)

wedding wednesday

wow. I really really stink at keeping schedules and remembering to do things.
we'll just say that I skipped wedding wednesday last week due to the intense funk that the snow put me in.
Speaking of snow, has anyone else noticed this weather? because it is INCREDIBLE. It can stay like this still spring starts and I will be totally happy.
anyways, moving on...

I've always thought that I wanted a bunch of separate cakes at my wedding because it was "different". However, seeing all these awesome and creative tiered cakes might just change my whole opinion. I LOVE THE BUNTING.

paper flowers are a must. I'm sure that one day I will look back at them and think that they are dreadfully tacky. but right now I love them.

 the dress to the right is absolutely gorgeous. Be still my heart. It's bigger than anything that I ever really thought that I would like, but I really really really like it!

I love this bucket idea.

I love these flowers, but I really love the braided fabric around the stems! Eeep so pretty!

ho hum.

today started out being quite lovely, but people have been annoying and rude and dumb. So now it is not lovely.
I don't want to go to classes.
I want to go home and eat leftover Papa Murpheys cheesy bread and watch The Bachelor, Pretty Little Liars, and Greek.
Boo.

happy valentines day!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I think it's important that we all remember that Valentines day is not just about chocolate, cards, and significant others.

It's a day celebrating all kinds of love, friendship and family included :)

remember to tell someone that you love them today!

goals for 2011.

this picture doesn't have anything to do with anything, other than the fact that I really do want to do this with Tyler.

I hate goals.
However, I find that without goals I have hardly any ambition to do anything at all. That being said, I'm going to post my simple goals for 2011.

1. Become a Stronger Christian.
    I know this one sounds overused and cliched and all that stuff. But it really is something that I need to do. Its hard for me to pray and read my bible, and fully trust in something I can't see. So this year I'm going to work on that a lot.

2. Spend less time on the internet.
     I am a self diagnosed internet addict. I spend way to much time on here.

3. Work out more. (Once the weather become nice.)

    This is for health reasons. I need to treat my body better.

4. Cut out soda.

    Oh golly this one is gonna be tough. I love soda lots, but I know it's not good for me.

5. Work harder on my school work.
     If Tyler and I want to live at Evangel, I need to work on my GPA in order to get scholarships that could help pay for our apartment. eeee :)

6. Plan the most freakin' awesome wedding that anyone has EVER seen.
    This will be the fun part! :) So excited.

Now I'm going to read my economics textbook, cause that class is kickin my butt.

I heart tuesday.

thank you guys for your sweet words, and making me feel really warm and fuzzy inside.
I apologize about the whiney woe is me post, sometimes a girls just gotta vent ya know?
so I thought that since yesterday was just depressing, today should be filled with pretty stuff that is happy!
good lord, I have the biggest mood swings I have ever heard of!

Janel posted this picture yesterday, and I thought it was super cute. Plus I love that quote.

also, click on that link and check out here blog! Right now, she and her husband are having a big fundraiser to help them adopt a sweet baby girl :) there are some super cute items in her etsy up for grabs too!

Valentines sprinkles and heart shaped measuring spoons! So cute! I love sprinkles, but for some reason Valentines sprinkles are my favorite.

BOOKS! Lots and lots of books.

I want these for my headphones!

Dipn'Dots! I love these things, and they make me so excited for summer. This feels  like the longest winter ever. And there is supposed to be more snow tonight, which is just yucky. I am a summer girl through and through.

I think i will attempt to do this with my spools. For some reason I was compelled to by a bag of spools at a thrift store a long time ago, and now I have something to do with them. Yay!



jaded.

Its been a really long time since I've felt pretty.
And I'm not saying that so you'll comment this saying "oh karasyn, you're so cute! What in tarnation are you talking about?" cause it there is one thing I hate, it's when people fish for compliments. So I SWEAR that is not at all what I am doing.
I'm just getting my feelings out there.

Ever since I can remember, I've always felt inferior and weird around other people.
Somehow, I just got super lucky and made friends with people who were  outgoing, and more socially savvy and I just kind of trailed behind. When I see someone, my brain automatically lists out the things about this person that are better than me. Their hair is shinier, their skin is tanner, they're skinnier, their smile is prettier...the list goes on and on. It's not something I do intentionally, it just happens.

Reading Fashion magazines, doesn't help at all. All the models in them are airbrushed, and size zeros. I know that not everyone is built to look like that, but I really beat myself up for not living up to what magazines shove in my face. Sometimes, I don't want to eat because everything in me screams that if I eat "that" then I will immediately bloat. Obviously, I ignore that most of the time, because I like food way too much. But after I eat something, I hate myself afterwards. It's the days where I comsume only 500 calories that I feel great. and I know that there is something really really wrong with that. And now summer is coming up, and the pressure is on more than ever. I'm always the girl that wears a tank top and shorts over her swimsuit in the pool, because she hates her thighs, and doesn't want anyone to see how white they are. But now I have Tyler, and I don't want him to think I'm frumpy and weird, so obviously I have to wear a swimsuit without anything over it. I'm scared to death.
At the beginning of this school year I started getting acne, which is SUPER weird for me becuase I never had any problems at all with that dreadful stuff until now. I've tried everything, and it's starting to clear up, but knowing that I have stupid pimples on my face really really lowers my self esteem. I just want them to go away forever.
Sometimes, I get really stressed out because I know that there are girls out there that are prettier than I am. There are girls that are funnier than I am. Girls that are more exciting than I am. Girls that are more talented than I am. I really don't understand most of the time why Tyler dates me. He always tells me that I'm beautiful, and I want so much to believe him. But I just can't, because I know its not true.

I just wish, that I could wake up, and look in the mirror and like what I see. Cause I'm so sick of hating myself.

goals for today.

today I will...

-majorly clean my room.

(this includes dusting, vaccuming, organizing, etc.)

- Organize my mess of a closet.

- Make some hair accessories

-Practice Piano

-Finish logo on Illustrator

-Do all my laundry for the week

I just have to get this off my chest.

I find it really really really annoying when people can't have a mind of their own.
Just sayin.

summer staples: dresses

Even though the current condition of the outdoors here in Springfield in -3 degrees and 10 inches on snow, I can't help but long for the warmth of spring and summer.

Mainly, I love the warmer weather for the clothes.

Cause lets face it, they are so much cuter.

Here are some beauties I found online, that if money wasn't an option, would all be hanging in my closet right now.

I absolutely adore these three from Charlotte Russe.  

these two from Forever 21.

and these two cuties from Pac Sun.

I am once again sitting at home because of a snow day. I am hoping that today will be more productive that yesterday. I think I will make a skirt, and some headbands.



I'm really bad at remembering things.

So apparently, I forgot all about wedding wednesday last week. I am so ashamed of myself. Actually, not really because this is my blog, so I do what I want! And right now I want to do a "wedding wednesday". So here it is!

I know that I said I wanted several unstacked cakes, but I really really love this little birdie topper.

Both these pictures I find inspiring. Starting on the left, I LOVE the idea of sewing up a bunch of these little hearts and just hanging them in random places. I think it would be pretty adorable :) On the right, I also LOVE the idea of having fire pits! I know it sounds kinda weird, but I want my wedding to be casual and fun, and how fun would it be to be able to roast marshmellows and make s'mores?

I like painted furniture. I like furniture outdoors. I also like strawberries.

I adore this style of dress. It's elegant and flowy, while being relaxed and fun.

I have always loved babys breath. I never thought about a full boquet of just babys breath, but looking at this picture, I LOVE it!!

Well thats all the inspiration for this week!

So far, today has been super lazy. I've read, and watched this seasons The Bachelor pretty much all day. I like snowdays, but I'm starting to feel a bit caged in.

Annnnnd, I just got the emergency text saying that there is no school again tomorrow.

fun fun!

how I have spent my snow day.

Yay for snow days!

As much as I really hate the cold, and snow, and just pretty much winter in general, I have welcomed this snow day with opened arms.

Its so nice to have a day just to relax and breathe a bit.

here is what I've done...

I started off the day by playing Just Dance 2.

BEST GAME EVER.

yummy coffee :)

I taught my cat how to play piano.

Just kidding, this is some random picture I found on google. but I thought it would be funny. Or maybe you just had to be there.

But I practiced piano, so yay me!

(also, my cat it MUCH better looking, and is already a piano prodigy. Therefore he does not need my teaching.)

I'm reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Eeep! I'm taking this book slow because it's the last one, and therefore the end of a wonderful series.

Finishing up a series always makes me sad.

Watched the latest Pretty Little Liars. This show is my guilty pleasure for sure.

played nertz.

messed around in illustrator. LOVE the mac. It's a lifesaver. 



poured, and still pouring over the latest Anthro lookbook.

tonight, we are watching It Takes Two, and eating Chocolate Chip Pancakes and Bacon.

DELISH!

hope that all you snowed in peoples are having a lovely snowday!! :)